SCENESTER SINFUL SIPS
Black
by Landon Rak
Yep, you guessed it. It’s another booze review. I mean honestly… let’s sit back and think about this for just a moment. I get to sit here, have booze brought to me; I sit and drink it, decide whether or not “I” like it… then park my fat ass in front of a computer (trashed) and tell you all about it. Wow. If only I was getting paid, I’d never have another issue of ‘my boss’ asking me to work overtime… LOL
All right... enough of all that… let’s get down to business. My buzz is wearing off.
BLACK – OUT OF THE DARKNESS COMES BLACK Yep… really original. Get past it… get over it. Let’s face it; there aren’t any unique slogans or names left in this uber-mass-marketing culture we’ve gotten ourselves into. Unless a company starts making up their own words to label their products, we’re pretty much stuck with what we’ve got. And anyways, if they do make up their own words, we generally don’t buy their shit because we think they’re nutz and trying to hide something. Unless they’re IKEA… but even then, it’s bad. I mean, I don’t know about you, but in my experience they’ve ALWAYS ended up hiding the English instructions on how to put their shit together…. … But I digress…
So BLACK actually isn’t too bad and is made by the kind rum folks at Angostura. It’s another mixer (meaning pre-mixed drink saving you all the trouble of having to go out and actually buy two... count ‘em TWO separate ingredients). Wow… rum & cola. “Honey, I went out for our drinks and I forgot the cola…” Problem solved! We have BLACK. Forget your dumb-ass partner and all the reasons you sent them out to get your booze in the first place. Now get your head out of the gas oven and have a drink. Just grab a BLACK, and you can scratch both off the shopping list… and save any other thoughts you may be having ‘til the next day.
As mixers go, it’s all right. It’s flavoured rum with cola and a hint of lime. It’s not too much if you take it easy, but more than enough if you go too hard. Meaning, of course, that tomorrow could be a Benylin day if you ain’t careful. Regardless though… I can pretty much guarantee it’s going to be an Advil day. But then again… what good night doesn’t lead to that anyways.
Maybe I should ask my ‘boss’ to let me start up a review section on pain meds. Think she’d end up delivering Advil to my door?
BLACK comes in a box of 4x330mL bottles each with 7% alcohol and is available at the LCBO. The bottle design suggests energy, excitement (hence the lightening bolts) and joie de vivre (what’s inside)!
Landon’s Social Alcoholism Rating:
Ummm... was I mixing? Take 3 Advil and call me in the morning... I’ll still be here... I ain’t movin’.
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